Enough to make your blood boil!?

If you had the chance to banish some of your worst nightmares to the depth of a locked room, what would they be and why? In the comical TV show, 'Room 101', Paul Merton poses that same question to his guests. After giving a class from an Advanced book on the same topic, it got me thinking. What would I send to Room 101? Living in Madrid, I find it all too easy to come up with several pet peeves.

Nomation Number 1: Space Invaders
I'm talking about the people who seem to have no awareness of personal space. Take the underground for example, why do people insist on reading their hardback book when the train is jam-packed? Why do they have to stick their bloody novel into my spine so I can feel every turning of every page? Why did a woman feel it necessary to lean on me and effectively squash me against the bloody wall the other day when she had enough space to park a car at the other side of her? And then when I asked her to move she refused to do so telling me that I should buy a car!

Nomination Number 2 : Inconsiderate umbrella carriers
I understand that an umbrella is a very practical and useful accessory and that there are times when people need to protect themselves from the pouring rain, but God damn it we need to have a bit of common sense and manners, folks! Madrid is a big city, there are a lot of people and most of them have no idea about (a) personal space, as I said above, and (b) the danger of using an umbrella that has a spoke sticking out of the side in the style of a lethal eye-poker-outer device. Imagine the scene: Plaza Castilla, rush hour, 25 people standing on either side of a zebra crossing, it's pissing it down, everyone is carrying an umbrella, (30% of which have a spoke loose), the green man starts flashing, people start crossing, (but this is Madrid so people have to cross the street in a diagonal or sometimes zigzag fashion depending on whether or not they have just seen their bus pull up), Faye Hobson is in the middle wearing her Barbour waterproof hat looking like a twat, but not getting in anyone's way, she proceeds to cross the street, ducking and diving but still not completely avoiding getting smacked in the chest twice and scratched down the side of the face. AGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Nomination Number 3: Spanish Drivers
- The red light means that you stop your car! It does not mean that you can keep driving until the people waiting at the zebra crossing decide to launch themselves into the street so that they can get to the other side before the red man starts flashing.

- A zebra crossing is for pedestrians, it is not a place to park your car, nor is it the place you stop when the light turns red so that myself and all the other poor folk have to zig zag in and out of the traffic hoping that we can get to the other side before the lights change and the cars set off, regardless of whether or not people are still on the crossing.

-The horn should be used as little as possible. Blaring on it non-stop for ten minutes is not going to make the traffic move any faster. It is a traffic jam, the traffic is at a standstill for a reason and not just because the drivers ahead of you have decided to stop and have a rest!

-Drink driving, speeding, double parking and talking on the mobile phone while driving is not clever, knock it off!

Nomination Number 4: Inconsiderate Mobile Phone Users

Here I'm talking about the type of person who screams "I'm on a bus" at the top of their voice down the handset and you can hear their entire conversation. The other day I even saw a woman using her hands free on the bus when she had the phone in her other hand! I mean we hear even more of the bloody topic of conversation when you are talking into a little microphone!I'm also talking about the type of people who think it is a good idea to scroll through all the possible ring tones on their mobile three times before choosing one when sitting on a train or bus. I'm referring to the selfish bastards who leave their mobile phones switched on in the cinema because they can't live for fear of missing an important social/business call.

I am beginning the realise that the more time I spend in the city, the less tolerant I am becoming. I am afraid I might explode one of these days. There are so many more things that wind me up something cronic;

- Dog-owners not cleaning up their dog's crap
- People standing on the steps of the Underground handing out flyers.
- The sextet of musicians that play four songs on repeat all day long outside the academy (I can't take anymore "Oh when the saints" or flipping "My Way"!!!!)
- Road works

I could go on and on but I think I had better stop before I give myself a hernia, so the rant is over. However, feel free to post a comment with your own nominations for Room 101 and if you are interested in some of the nominations made by British Celebrities you can check it out here.

"A taste of England in Spain"

We have had a lovely, long weekend thanks to San José. I can't say that I have really done anything to take advantage of it, except for sleep a lot. I have done a lot of cooking though and thanks to a trip to the Food Hall, Jaime and I had a fantastic Full English Breakfast yesterday with tasty bacon, Heinz beans, British pork sausages, fried mushrooms and a fried egg. Delicious!

I could have spent a fortune in that shop but I was very well behaved and I only bought two packs of bacon, which was on offer, a pack of sesame Ryvitas and a bag of Salt and Vinegar Discos. I will have to go back though, I spied some Angel Delight and Heinz Treacle Pudding! I refrained from picking up some penguins and throwing some Tunnocks caramels into the basket, but it was very, very tempting.

The whole trip sent me a little doo-lali since I almost asked the checkout girl if she could give me my change in euros instead of the 5 pound note I thought that she had put into my hand.

In mourning

Sent Jaime to our local Blockbuster video store on Friday night to get something good to watch on TV, to ease my boredom after having spent all day vegetating on the couch with a headache and a sore throat. To my dismay he came back empty handed. Apparently Blockbuster are closing down! Not just our local store, but all 105 branches in the Spanish peninsula! The American chain is quoting the reduction in rentals caused by an increase in video piracy as the reason, (it has risen from 5% to 60% in the last three years in Spain). The company was said to have lost over 5 million euros in 2004.

Everytime I went into the store, which was at least once a week, all the latest DVD's were out and I would have to wait until the following week. I don't recall ever entering the store and having my pick of the bunch! Maybe this is just an excuse for Blockbuster to pull out of Spain? Or maybe there is some truth in it? I mean in Yorkshire I wouldn't have a clue where to go to by pirated DVDs or CDs but here in Spain, up until recently, you would trip over blanket upon blanket of burnt films while walking down a 10 metre stretch of road.

I suppose I will just have to join the local videoclub, at least I will be doing my part to keep small businesses up and running, but instead of waiting a week to see that new release, I may just end up waiting months! I hate to admit it but American superchains just make life that little bit easier sometimes!

Blast from the past

You know that you are a child of the eighties when you can remember owning numerous pairs of slouch socks in every colour under the sun. I used to go to school in my black uniform, with purple or green slouch socks falling down my leg. How sad! The trouble is I thought I was soooo cool!!!


You know you are an eighties child if you can admit to having worn a global hypercolour T-shirt. You know the ones that started off as one colour and then when you breathed really hard on one part of it, or when you sweated, it changed colour.

You know you are getting older if you can remember a time when you wore some cheap tacky perfume like Exclamation or, like all the other teenagers you went to school with, you doused yourself in Body Shop Dewberry or White Musk!

Do you remember when you were in your teens and you just had to own a pair of Reebok Classic Leather trainers, a Sweatershop jumper, Kickers shoes for school and a Naf Co 54 coat? Doesn't it just make you cringe?

I guess the above fashion horrors are the downside to being an eighties child but hey there were some good things too. Quality Saturday tea-time viewing meant sitting on the lounge carpet with your dad watching the A-team and Nightrider. And a bit later came Baywatch and your dad suggesting that you swapped your mother for one of the big-breasted, red swimming costume clad babes on the TV.

In the 80's we had none of these Hi-tech video games. I remember my cousin bringing his Spectrum round to our house and us having to sit there for hours waiting for the bugger to load only to find that we hadn't cued the tape right! And the bloody noise it made, waaaa woooo wiiiii rrrrrr!

I could go on and on, it's so much fun! If you are a child of the eighties and you fancy reminiscing a little more, check this out. Go on, I double dare you!

If only...

It's a real shame when good, British artists get overlooked for the likes of people like the Spice Girls and any other manufactured bands out there! What is the world coming to when talented singer / songwriters who produce some pretty hot tracks are pushed to one side to make way for trash like the Pussy Cat Dolls? I mean 'Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" isn't really a very thought-provoking lyric now, is it?!

Take the short-lived, Nottingham born band Sunhouse, for example. "Who?" I hear you all cry. Exactly! They were around for about a year in the late 90's, nobody has really heard of them, they never really made it anywhere and they split up soon after releasing there debut album, 'Crazy on the Weekend'. Although apparently the lead singer, after overcoming drink and drug problems, is now singing with Brit band, Clayhill.

I was fortunate enough to learn about them from an ex-boyfriend and his clique, they in turn had heard about them from someone else who had heard the song on a film( British flick 24:7), liked it and checked out the closing credits to find out who was singing.

I had forgotten how bloody good the CD was until I put it on the stereo the other day while cleaning the house. You can listen to some extracts here, or if you know me well you can borrow my copied version and burn it, or download it onto your i-pod (or 'your-not-an-i-pod' an explanation of which can be found in a January entry on Ned's blog)

If only less money had been spent on the Spice Girls and Boyzone and more attention had been paid to these guys, they might have produced more goody fabness, a great shame.